Dream Within a Dream
by Leather Sky
Summary: Gateau x Marron: After sealing the Rouge Camera, everyone is left with lingering thoughts of what took place there, Gateau more than anyone. Even though he's certain what happened wasn't real, it isn't so easy to forget the dream.


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Dream Within a Dream

Marron stood, tall and straight, his back to the others. They watched silently as he raised his hand…and then the Book was gone. Gateau lowered his head. He had been one of the first to defend him when Carrot had discovered the secret of the world they had been thrown into, and he was not sorry that one more abomination had been removed from Spooner's face. After all, he had a passionate desire to see ALL of the Forbidden Magic (and all of the Sorcerers, if he had a say in it) destroyed. But…there was something back in that imaginary world that he had left behind, and it saddened him. When Marron turned towards them again, he could not help but notice that Gateau turned away.

In the days that followed, it became increasingly apparent that Gateau didn't have his mind on his work…rather unusual for him. He always seemed to be staring off into the distance, thinking, and he seemed not to want to look Marron in the face (which was **_very_** unusual). Everyone noticed, although no one said anything to him. The Misu sisters were having trouble adjusting to their normal lives again as well…lives where Carrot didn't live with them and lavish affection on them. Carrot tried to forget the feeling of all those beautiful women…wanting _him_… Marron, as always, gave no sign of how he felt. If being forced to abandon a gentle dream world for harsh reality disturbed him, he didn't let it show.

And so the next few days were ones of silent reflection and adjustment for the Hunters.

In time, everyone fell back into their normal states of mind…everyone except Gateau. No one noticed anymore, however, since their normal state of mind was to be entirely absorbed with what they wanted and how to get it. The familiar thoughts of "_Today_ I'll make him love me!" and "There! THAT'S the girl of my dreams!" crept back in, and all was well again…

Gateau watched the others in their endless chase, and smiled…caught Marron's eyes, and the smile faded.

Marron walked up to him, something rather unprecedented. It seemed that Gateau was always the one doing the approaching. "Gateau…what's wrong?"

Gateau's eyes shot sideways, darkened momentarily to cobalt, instead of sky, blue. "Wrong? Nothing."

"It's not usual for you to lie. It must be something bad. Éclair?"

Gateau rounded on him. "NOTHING'S WRONG! And I'm…I'm not worried about Éclair. Well I mean, I **_always_** am…but I mean…it's not her…I mean…! It's _nothing_!"

Marron just stood there. Tira and Chocolat looked up momentarily, giving Carrot the chance to try and crawl away. A moment later and they were focused on him again, though, and his cries formed a background web of noise to their conversation.

"Gateau." Marron's tone was full of reproach.

"Look, I'm sorry for yelling at you. I just—well, I mean, why do you even care?"

Marron's eyebrows raised. "Why do I _care_…Gateau, if you're unhappy about something, I _do_ notice. I would rather see you happy…and if I can help you with whatever is so obviously bothering you, I'd like to…"

He seemed genuinely concerned. Gateau sighed. "Marron. Look, thank you. But I _can't_ tell you…not _you_, especially. I'll be better soon."

"Me especially…? Have I disturbed you in some way? If that's the case, just tell me what I should—"

"NO! No…look. That whole, uh…you know, that whole Book thing…it really did a number on me. I just gotta suck it up and get my mind back where it belongs…here in the real world!" Gateau forced a smile and clapped Marron on the back. (A little too hard—Marron winced.) "So you **_really_** don't have to worry about it, because I am going to be A-O-**_K_**!" With that, he turned and set off at a fast walk. Marron looked after him. It really was fortunate that no one marked his expression…because had they seen, they would have _wondered_...

Gateau had come back to himself to find that he was standing in the blazing hot sun, the noises of a crowd all around him. He looked down at his hands. They were pressed flat against an old wooden table. He scanned the table…lots of little covered jars, filled with…oil? And, against all reason…a frog. A very bored and resentful looking frog. He looked up at the crowd of people standing before his table, and as he did so the motion made him feel hair moving against the back of his neck. Surely his hair wasn't that long…

And then he was talking, telling them about his amazing frog oil, flexing and demonstrating how big it made his muscles look, drawing gasps from the crowd. He closed his eyes, smiled, fell into it. He must have just spaced out for a moment…of course, this was what he did for a living! He had the best job in the world, showing off for people, offering to give the giggling women in front of his booth a free application. He must have just been dreaming about a life of killing, a dead family, a great struggle…THIS was his life.

__

This was his life…

He walked home at a leisurely pace. Of course, he had a fine house near the center of the city. It wasn't very big or ostentatious, he preferred to live a rather austere life. No, it just had to be big enough for him and…and…? His brow wrinkled. A sister? No…he didn't have a sister, did he? Then it must be a lover. Of course, he was the happiest man in the world and he was coming home from work to his beautiful lover, who would no doubt have supper waiting for him. His brow cleared and he smiled. Yes. This was his life.

He did indeed smell something wonderful when he opened the door. He carefully set all the merchandise in its nook and gently put the frog outside in the little basin they had prepared for it. What had they named it again? He couldn't remember. The frog swam to the bottom and pointedly ignored him, as it always did. Gateau smiled and flicked the surface of the water a couple of times, just to annoy it. "Yeah, you know you have it easy. So don't give me that look…" Then he straightened up, brushed off his knees, and walked into the house.

"Ne, what's for supper tonight?"

No answer.

Gateau frowned. He looked in the kitchen. There _was _something there…and oh, it looked good. It must be his favorite. He dipped into it for just _one_ more taste…then went to find where—who…? had gone.

He came upon him in the bedroom. Marron was sitting, his back to the doorway, humming something or other as he combed out his hair. Gateau stood there and watched the ivory teeth slide in and out between those dark strands for what must have been an age…then he gulped and walked further into the room.

"So you…cooked supper."

"Yes." Marron turned to smile at him.

"Hey, what's all this you've got on?" Gateau leaned forward and took Marron's chin in his left hand, moved Marron's face so he could fully see one side, then the other.

"It's just…I was just wondering what it would…you don't like it?"

Gateau chuckled. "Marron, you'd look good if you just stepped out of a mud puddle. But no, I don't think you need any of this stuff."

Marron looked down, shamefaced. He moved to brush away the colors on his face.

"Hey…you don't have to take it off! It looks adorable, really. You can leave it on, if you want."

Marron looked uncertain, and turned to pick up a hand mirror that was lying on the floor beside him. Gateau watched him scrutinize himself. How strange that Marron should be here, in his house, playing dress-up like he was five. Marron absentmindedly unbuttoned part of his robe, ran his hand along his neck and chest, still looking at himself with an air of pure concentration. Finally, he sighed. "I think I _will_ take it off."

"Okay, but not because of me, right? Because I like you either way."

Marron turned back to him, smiled again. "No, not because of you."

Earlier that day (if time could be said to exist there) Marron had found himself sitting on a bench, outside a palace. His head had jerked up, and he had been disoriented for several moments—but then he had heard the laughter of women, and above all, what sounded like…

"Niisan!"

He had stumbled upon quite a scene. Carrot was lying there, chuckling, like some sort of adolescent sultan in the middle of a harem of lovely girls. They were all laughing and feeding him and telling him everything he wanted to hear. Marron watched, open-mouthed, as one particularly pretty girl danced up to Carrot, pecked him on the cheek, and then ran away giggling.

"Oh now, you can't tease a man like that! _I'm coming to get you_, then watch out…" Laughing, they chased each other.

Carrot noticed Marron all of a sudden and fell over. "OW…! Little brother, hey! You come here to get in on some of this action?" He pinched the bottom of a passing girl, eliciting a stream of giggles.

He got up and walked over to Marron, put his arm around him. "Man, just look at all of these beautiful ladies! I'm passionately in love with every one of 'em, too!" He laughed. "Is this Paradise, or WHAT?"

Marron stood stock-still, considering for a moment. Or…what…? But then Carrot was walking him over to some cushions, making him sit down and eat, introducing him to all the girls (whose names he seemed to have memorized already). Marron looked at his brother, so deliriously happy, and he lost all other thoughts. Carrot was so _happy_…how wonderful! Marron smiled and settled back into the cushions, and gave himself over to the pleasure of watching his brother. He even talked with some of the girls, although to Carrot's dismay they just ended up putting makeup on each other.

After awhile Carrot wandered back over to Marron. "Ne, Marron, I don't understand! All these pretty girls and you don't wanna…you know…"

Marron looked up, his pale face augmented by strange new swatches of blue and red. "What do you mean? I'm having a good time just watching you, Niisan."

"Yeah, but—don't you want to do anything for _yourself_? Have a girl of your own, or something?"

Marron looked down, considering. "I…I hadn't thought about it."

Carrot put his hand on Marron's shoulder. "Look, Marron. I love having you around, but I'd be even happier if I knew you were off enjoying yourself, doing something special that **_you_** wanted. This seems like a pretty great place to me…who knows what you might be able to have, if you wanted it?"

Marron didn't look up, but his eyes flashed. "Yes, you may be right, Niisan. I should at least try to discover if there is anything I want, just for myself...shouldn't I?"

Carrot smiled. "Well, yeah, that's what I think. If you find that you really _do_ just want to hang out here and trade beauty tips with the girls, then you're welcome to stay here with us…but I'd at least like you to _look around_ a little bit, you know?"

Marron closed his eyes, smiled. "Of course, Niisan. You have fun here, all right? I'll see you later."

Without another word, he strode off. Carrot looked after him for a moment, but was almost immediately called to other things…

Meanwhile, Marron allowed himself a deep sigh as he walked through the streets of this strange new city. He wanted Carrot to be happy, and he imagined Carrot would have eventually wanted his privacy…and he just couldn't think of a good way to explain to his brother that all he **_really_** ever wanted to do was watch him being happy. So he had left his own Paradise without an argument…so Carrot wouldn't worry about him. But now what could he do? As he thought these things he became increasingly aware of a strangely familiar sound. It was growing louder…Gateau's voice! Curious, he walked in the direction of the noise.

Gateau was shouting something about frog oil. There he was, prancing and flexing in the middle of a group of people…Marron found himself smiling and shaking his head. That Gateau, he was always—always—what? Again, Marron had a feeling of strangeness, but it passed as things once again seemed to shift into place. Everything settled into new grooves in Marron's mind. Gateau sold frog oil, he was shameless, he lived in the middle of the city, he had always rather liked Marron… And then Marron's eyes became unfocused and his lips parted involuntarily as it came to him in a rush. He could…make Gateau happy. That was what he could do. Gateau would need him and depend on him, and _appreciate_ him, and he could watch Gateau be happy and it would make _Marron_ happy…

Then he shook his head violently. No, there had been truth in what Carrot had said. Marron should try and find out what made him happy, and go seek it out. But… He looked back over at Gateau, shining strangely in the afternoon blaze with all that ridiculous frog oil, and a new idea began to form. What if…Gateau…could make _Marron_ happy? He bit his lower lip. Unlikely…but, well…he had felt **something** when he watched Carrot with those girls. Maybe it would be pleasurable to see what Gateau really wanted to do with him. Carrot obviously loved it when women were affectionate to him, teased him, played with him…maybe that sort of thing was _fun_.

He could at least find out.

Gateau ate everything Marron put on his plate, and couldn't stop talking about how good it all was. Finally, Marron pointed the spoon at him and told him to shut up and eat. Gateau laughed, putting his palms up in surrender. It was a very good supper. Afterwards, Gateau did the dishes while Marron straightened the futon and lit the lamps. And that pretty much left them at the end of the day, time for sleep…with one futon.

Marron watched Gateau to see how he would behave. He was disappointed…Gateau simply changed for bed, carefully folded his yukata and put it away. Then he quietly slid under the sheets next to Marron, wished him a good night, and laid his head down.

Marron watched his peaceful face for awhile, snorted quietly with irritation and blew out the lamps. Perhaps he had been mistaken…maybe all Gateau wanted was a good supper…

His body was gently pulled alongside Gateau's body and he felt a hand beneath his sleeping robe, following an unhesitating path down his side. There was suddenly skin next to his newly exposed skin, and as he tried to deal with all of these new sensations he felt hot breath on his neck. Gateau bent his face to Marron's and rested it against his cheek for a moment before kissing him. Then his lips were on Marron's, and when Marron involuntarily cried out, he gently thrust his tongue into Marron's mouth. Marron moaned and struggled with Gateau's clothes and with his own. Ultimately they were wrestled away, and Marron opened his eyes and looked up at Gateau, a mere silhouette in the moonlight. One hand slid down Marron's body, and his breathing came more raggedly. Gateau's breathing was harsh as well, and he could only manage to whisper a few words.

"I…want you…I love…you."

Fear entered Marron's features with the meaning of those last words, but he couldn't stop himself from sinking his fingertips into Gateau's shoulders and pulling him down onto him. He could only manage one word.

"…please…"

In the darkness, the only place they could be together like this, Marron learnt the feel of Gateau's mouth over his body, the torture of being close, the jagged pain and the sudden tremors of pleasure that stole his reason. Gateau had driven him to the brink of climax and then left him there, in exquisite agony, while he gently and slowly worked him and made him ready for what was to come. When he gripped Marron's thighs and moved into him, he did it tenderly but firmly, without stopping until they were joined. He gave Marron time to recover, and then began to move very slowly, until he sensed Marron's head sliding from side to side on the futon and heard his moaning resume. Then he bent down to kiss him, still moving his body, and let one hand roam over Marron's body once more. He made sure that he spent a few moments moving his hand all around Marron's stomach before letting it stray further down…and then he started a kind of gentle, constant stroking that matched his movements into him. The moon shone brighter and Marron could see what they were now. His body arched, he gripped Gateau's side with one arm, half raised himself up with the other arm…fell back, only able now to look at Gateau's face and those eyes as they watched him, steadily. Gateau kept his eyes on him as he moved and didn't stop moving…didn't stop…Marron came, and those eyes stayed on him. Only after Marron's shuddering had subsided did Gateau allow his movements to become more erratic. In a haze, Marron looked at him again and saw his eyes shut, mouth open, face contorted with helplessness…

"…_Marron…"_

In that one word he was begging, he was accusing, he was warning him, he was apologizing…

Marron watched it come over him, one hand against Gateau's heaving chest, the other gripping his side.

They didn't bother to do anything else but fall asleep, immediately, clutching each other. It was unusual for Marron, but he didn't care.

After the sealing of the Book, Gateau had often wondered if the Marron who had made love to him back in that dream was the same Marron who he hunted with now. He had supposed all along that it was just another part of the dream…Marron would never do anything like that, after all. But still, it was torture to look down and see Marron quietly walking beside him…and to be unwillingly drawn back into that world. He could still remember the smell of Marron's skin and the feel of that long black hair as it slid down his stomach. He supposed he would never know such things again. It tore at him.

For this same reason, Gateau knew he could, quite definitely, _never_ tell Marron what was bothering him. Marron didn't need to know all that, and god knows how uncomfortable such a thing would make him anyway. No, Gateau was **_strong_**, wasn't he? He could and he must handle this. Even if it meant burning his most precious memories.

Marron had become increasingly troubled by Gateau's behavior after they had escaped the Rouge Camera. He remembered well enough what had happened there…but it really seemed that Gateau was unable to let it go. Marron himself found it relatively easy to adjust back to everyday life…his time with Gateau had been pleasant and soothing, but now they were back in the real world and there was work to be done. Besides, he had come to realize exactly how strongly Gateau felt about him…and it intimidated him. He did not know if he was really capable of standing up to such emotion if he had to do it all the time. He thought that Gateau would take this all in his usual lighthearted way, just as he had always taken Marron's sometimes scathing rejections…had thought that this was better, since Gateau had no idea he had really been with _Marron_, so he wouldn't know Marron was letting him go. But this was torturing Gateau, Marron could see it. His friend was suffering…and it was his fault. If he truly cared about him, he had to do _something_…but what?

Unsure of how to proceed, Marron did nothing…and the time passed.

Sometime later, they were all sitting around a table outside a restaurant, talking together after an unusually good supper. It was a beautiful summer night, and Carrot was already a bit punch-drunk, having been beaten by the Misu sisters throughout the course of the meal (several pretty girls had walked by). Gateau was his usual brooding self. Marron felt bad about it, but as before had no idea what to do about it…and then something Carrot said caused Gateau's head to jerk up.

"That reminds me of the time we were all in that book…you remember that, guys? Boy, that was a TRIP!"

Gateau looked at Marron, then at Carrot. "Yeah…it sure was. I heard you had a whole harem there for awhile. Must be nice."

"Oh yeah, that was awesome."

Chocolat spoke up. "Darling! But now that I think about it…it sure was strange when we came across **_you_** in there, Marron!"

Gateau jumped at the chance to find out what Marron had actually been doing while they were in the Rouge Camera. "You mean Marron was in the palace with Carrot the whole time? Marron, you DOG!" He chuckled.

Marron started to speak, but Carrot cut in: "Ha! Hardly. He stayed long enough to steal some eyeliner and lipstick and then he split. He hasn't even told **_me_** what he did after that."

Marron actually blushed. "Now Niisan, you promised not to tease me about that. After all, I was just trying to make friends with some of the girls, and they kept saying they wanted to make my face up—"

"Yeeeeah, you know you liked it…perv!" Carrot laughed an innocent, full laugh, remembering his quiet little brother made up like a barmaid.

Gateau, meanwhile, had started trembling. He was remembering Marron, too…and it made him think…if the Rouge Camera gave you exactly what you wanted…

If it gave you just what you wanted, why would Marron have been wearing that? Gateau had never particularly wanted to see Marron in anything but…well…his bed. Some two-dimensional "ideal" Marron would have greeted him naked at the door of his house, instead of quietly hiding in the back, combing his hair, ashamed of his own curiosity…

…Even if the Book **_had_** created a Marron from Gateau's thoughts that would act shy but love him at the same time, well…it still didn't explain that silly makeup. Nothing explained it. Except…

Marron had turned around, and his hand was now on Gateau's arm, trying to steady him. "Gateau? Gateau! You're shaking!"

Gateau stood up so abruptly that the table crashed over. His eyes were wider than Marron had ever seen them, and they blazed so intensely that he felt himself physically knocked back. "You were there…it **_was_**…you…WASN'T IT?"

Marron just stared at him, mouth open.

"You…you **_knew_** how I felt…and you didn't…you _didn't even tell me_? Even if it was…just…to say that…you didn't…**nnnRRRGH**!"

He roared and wrenched himself violently around, set off at a _run_. Carrot and the girls cried out, on their feet in a moment.

"Gateau!"

"What the hell…!"

"You can't just—"

…But Gateau was already gone. He could move with unusual speed when he wanted to, and he wanted nothing more at this moment than to be **away**.

Then they were righting the table, apologizing to the other diners, placating the owners of the restaurant…and Marron just stayed where he was. After they had dealt with everything, the others finally noticed that Marron hadn't moved an inch.

Carrot put his hand on his brother's shoulder, gently shook him. "Hey…hey…Marron."

After a moment, Marron looked up at him blankly.

"Marron…are you okay? You don't have to tell me what he was talking about, okay? I just want to be sure that you're okay."

Marron's eyes focused. "I'm…fine. I'd better go see what's wrong with him."

"**_Marron? _**Oh hey, look, I don't think that's such a good idea. I mean, Gateau's apparently nuts or something right now…"

"Niisan, I have absolutely nothing to fear from Gateau. Now, I'm going to go see what's bothering him. I'm sure he didn't mean to be so…rude." Marron's voice held its normal soft, quiet tones…but Carrot moved away from him as he said these last words. Marron gave him a half-smile, hugged him, and casually walked off.

It was quite easy to guess where Gateau had gone. Back to his room, of course. Back to his room to hide, or to pack his things, or to cry, or to scream and punch the walls—but mostly just to be alone. Marron knew that the last thing on earth Gateau wanted to see right now was him, but he couldn't let Gateau's words pass unaddressed. As much as Gateau must be feeling right now, such a telling emotional display was almost unforgivable in Marron's eyes…and he needed to make Gateau understand that he **_couldn't _**say things like that in front of everyone…not about Marron…

Gateau's door was locked. Marron knocked sharply. "Open the door. **_Open the door_**." He leaned forward against to door to listen, and abruptly fell forward onto Gateau as the door flew back.

Gateau grabbed his shoulders and physically _picked him up_ and set him down behind him, then closed the door and locked it. He turned to face Marron, and it was all Marron could do to stand his ground.

"That hurt."

"I'm sorry." Gateau spoke this savagely. They stared at each other for awhile, then Marron looked around, saw the bed, sat down on it. Gateau waited for him to speak, but he only rubbed his shoulders. Finally, Gateau broke the silence.

"What do you want? An apology?"

Marron looked steadily at him. "Yes…well, I did. But maybe you feel the same way?"

Gateau walked over to Marron, and knelt in front of him, taking Marron utterly off guard. When he spoke again, his words were barely audible.

"It was you, wasn't it."

"Yes."

"In the book…"

"Yes."

"We…we were—"

"Yes. **_YES_**, all right?"

"And now…you let me think that it was just a dream. Why…do you hate me that much?"

Marron leaned forward. "No. That's not why. I don't hate you…I really did like being with you, Gateau. But it was just a dream, can't you see that? Here, in the real world, there's no way we could—"

"Why **_not_**?" Gateau took Marron's wrists in his hands. "Give me one reason why not!"

"Well, because—because it's…" Marron faltered.

"There **_is_** no reason. You're just scared."

Marron's jaw tightened. "All right…Yes. I am. The way you were…I'm afraid of that. If I let myself feel that way about you, then it would threaten everything! Feelings can be used as weapons…love is just a weakness for our enemies to exploit, don't you understand that? It could only bring sorrow…I'm convinced of that."

Gateau released Marron and fell back so that he was sitting cross-legged on the floor. "Bullshit. Complete and utter **_bullshit_**…! Marron…you already feel that way. You love your brother more than anything else on earth. And you should. Nothing will change that, nothing **_can_** change that. So is that a 'weakness' you need to get rid of?"

Marron's mouth opened to speak, then closed again a moment later. He turned his head to the side.

Gateau nodded. "Right. I thought so." He ran a hand over his eyes. "…look. If you don't want to be with me…all right, but don't stay away because you have all these stupid high-flown ideas about Duty and love being a weakness and stuff, okay?"

No answer.

Gateau uncovered his eyes. "Okay, Marron?"

Marron just looked at him for awhile. Then, very deliberately, he said one word.

When Carrot got back to his room, Marron wasn't there. It worried him—Marron had been confident when he left to go talk to Gateau, but what if they had some sort of fight? He didn't _think_ that Gateau would ever hurt Marron, but…the way he had spoken to him! He wouldn't be able to sleep until he made good and certain that Marron was all right.

He looked around for awhile until he thought of checking Gateau's room. He was scared, but he knocked anyway. Nothing. He bent to listen, unaware of how similar he and his brother had acted… After a moment all the blood rushed to his face and he straightened up.

Carrot quietly walked back down the hall and went to bed. But he found it was a long time before he could sleep.

He finally fell asleep after deciding that maybe…his little brother had found something that made him happy.


End file.
